"You know more of a road by having traveled it than by all the conjectures and descriptions in the world." - William Hazlitt

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Church of God


Our train got into Budapest well into the night. Brian and I went back to his apartment, where I packed up all of my things (having left most of my stuff behind on this quick weekend excursion) into the gigantic blue backpack and little blue front pack I have been dragging with me for over 6 months now. I slept for 2 hours.

I woke up at 4am. I had to be up then, to catch my train to Bratislava.

I took a taxi to the station, arriving around 4:30am. The rosy-fingered dawn was beginning to shine on Budapest, streaming light through the windows.

I bought my ticket and got a good seat on the train (6-seat booth to myself. One for each backpack, one for my butt, one for my legs, two as a buffer between me and my backpacks). It left on time at 5:25am, arriving in Bratislava at 8:08am on July 16. I had drifted in and out of sleep on the train, but felt rested enough to make it through the day.
I checked my luggage (except my iPad, which I used as a map all day) wandered south out of the station and headed straight to St. Michael’s Gate (the entrance to the old town). This was part of Brian’s directions.

Brian has been to Bratislava at least once, probably more than that, and scoffed at my idea of spending a couple nights there. He insisted I could do it in a day, and would be bored by the end of it. He was right, but I can’t help but think if I had met some people at a hostel I would have enjoyed the city more. That being said, I found it to be a charming town and full of character. I would love to go back. Brian’s directions, though, were simple. Only one direction leads away from the train station, and he told me to just keep going and going and going in that direction until I found the old town. It was a short 7-minute walk, getting lost seemed impossible, and it was.

After passing St. Michael’s Gate, I looked for Čokoládovña, a hot chocolate place Brian suggested, but to no avail. I had a muffin at Coffee & Co. instead, while I used their internet to find out where stuff is in the city.

To be certain that Čokoládovña didn’t exist, I backtracked a bit and found the place, tucked away with terrible signage. Brian insisted it was the best hot chocolate he’s ever had, and he was not kidding; it was beyond delicious. I had the m&m caramel dark chocolate. I told the girl working behind the counter, Kate, about Brian and his love for this hot chocolate and subsequent recommendation. She was very happy to hear it.

I wandered a little until I found the cathedral. I went inside, toured the crypt, but had to leave before services started. Next I walked to the castle (finding my way by wandering through private streets, up a creepy stone staircase, and through someone’s backyard… O, the effects of not having a reliable map!), which was beyond disappointing. It had been burned down in 1811, rebuilt in 1953. Really? Come on! You don’t rebuild a castle in 1953! Who does that? There were good views of the city and the Danube, though.

After the “castle,” I went back down the hill, stumbling into the ‘synagogue’ on the way. That’s another thing all European cities have, a synagogue. Most are empty now, for obvious reasons, but the buildings still stand, for the most part.

This synagogue, however, was not really a synagogue. It was a shell of a building, and inside was a memorial video that people sat in and watched video footage of Bratislava during WWII.

My next stop was the main square, where I bought a souvenir, a little shotglass boot. Afterwards I walked to Gorkeho, finding the Opera House. It’s a beautiful construction, but wasn’t open for touring.

Brian had suggested a cigar shop just beyond St. Michael’s Gate, I headed here next, but stopped along the way for another hot chocolate. Kate made me some creative mix. It came with chili powder. I couldn’t have been happier.

Just outside Michael’s Gate I found Brian’s recommended cigar club at Del Casa Havana, had a delicious Te Amo cigar and a mojito. Both were fantastic, and relaxing.

Next, to lunch! It must be remembered that all of the preceding items were completed by about 3pm. It’s a very small town.

I hopped online to look for a place for lunch. After a short Google search I discovered a page where some American expat expounded on his favorite food joints in Bratislava. I found one that was near enough and on the route to the train station, and headed there. It was called Traja Musketieri, a.k.a. Three Musketeers.

It was the best. Meal. Ever. I haven’t eaten so well in years, honestly. And three courses, plus a glass of very nice wine, only cost 30.08€. I had the following:

Appetizer

Aramis’ platter
Slices of duck speared on Aramis’ sharp blade, with fenchel and orange made a great salad 100g
(grilled duck breast with fenchel and orange salad)

Main Course

The Sword of D’Artagnan
When he lays down his battle attire, his sword roasts meat over a fire 150g
(skewered pork medaillons with vegetables and cheese, wrapped in bacon)

Dessert

Royal Cream
Delicious cream for the lady of my heart, may the sweet caramel my love for her impart… 150 g
(crème caramel with wild berries)

Again, I can’t stress how good this meal was. I was blown away. I wish I knew what wine I had ordered, too, because I want it shipped to me in bulk.

I needed to let the food sink in, so I left lunch around 4:15 and stopped off at the park behind the Presidential Palace (just down the street) to relax. On an unrelated note, an interesting plaque I passed on the way into the park read: “On Sunday 25th August 1878, electric light sparkled in the Garden of Grassalkovich Palace, for the first time in our country, and later it spread to the windows of houses and factories, to the streets and parks of our towns… … let there be light.” It was put in for the 125th anniversary of the event.

I was watching (creepily, admittedly) some kids play bocce ball with their father, and some babies attempt some minor climbing with their parents supporting them on a little jungle gym, when two young Asians approached me. One girl, one boy, and one mission.

They began speaking to me in Slovakian (at least I assume it was Slovakian), but ended up switching to English when I indicated that, alas, I do not speak Slovakian. I wish I could really call what they were speaking in the end true English, because the guy, at least, could not put a sentence together without pausing for a thousand seconds and then butchering the pronunciation.

“Do you believe in God?” Was the first question he asked me.

I was stunned. How do I respond to that? I wasn’t sure if he wanted me to answer yes or no. On one hand, he could be some determined atheist, out to harass anyone who is a believer. On the other, more likely hand, he could be a devout religious fanatic, intent on converting me to his beliefs. So I did what I thought to be the logical thing. I answered, “Maybe.”

Maybe? Maybe? That pisses off both possible personalities that I could be dealing with! That’s not even agnosticism. That’s just being a jerk. This guy started rambling then, about something, before asking me, “Do you have time for us to talk to you about the good word about God? Do you believe in God?”

“Yes!” I responded, realizing what I was dealing with. I’m always happy to let a religious fanatic try to convince me of his righteousness, especially when I have an hour to kill before my train departs and I’m only 5 minutes from the station.

This guy, let’s call him Peter (the name I learned afterwards he goes by, though I would be willing to bet his Korean name is not Peter), started going on about nonsense. Well, I’m sure it was interesting but I couldn’t understand a word he said. Then he pulled out his tablet and asked me if I wanted to watch a few videos. I said, “Absolutely!” This is what I learned:

Peter and his colleague Julia belong to a church known as the Church of God. The Church of God believes that there is not just God, whom they call God the Father, but God the Mother as well. They have a passage or two in the bible that allude to some sort of woman, and say that is what that means. One of the passages is in Genesis 1, when God says, “Let Us create the heavens and the earth.” Their interpretation of that passage, and other such passages referring to an “Us” or “We,” in reference to God, is that there is no way this ancient book written during the age of kings would use the royal “We,” it has to be two beings! It all makes sense now!

Furthermore, since Jesus had not filled his goal of preaching for 40 years, and had only preached for 3 years before being killed by the Romans (read: Jews?). So, in 1948 Jesus returned in the form of Korean preacher Ahn Sahng-hong. He founded the Church of God in 1964, and preached for 37 years before his death in 1985, fulfilling the prophecy and proving, definitively, that he is Jesus reincarnate. His spiritual wife, Zahng Gil-Jah, continues his fight for salvation of the human race. She is known as “the Heavenly Mother,” and is God the Mother’s likeness on Earth.

For, you see, God the Mother and God the Father are what we mirror our family system on Earth from. In this heavenly family, however, we are the spiritual brothers and sisters of each other and the children of the Heavenly Father and Heavenly Mother. So, it stands to reason that anyone who believes that Ahn Sahng-Hong was the second coming of Jesus and keeps the Passover and obeys His commands will be saved. The Church also believes that the Hebrew word “Elohim,” used in the bible to refer to God in the plural (some would argue as the third-person equivalent of the royal “We”), further proves the multiple Gods thing. The Church of God also observes the Sabbath on Saturday, and believes “all human beings are angels who have come to the earth after sinning in heaven.”

All of this makes perfect sense to me. But where they lost me was why Jesus, and God the Mother, came to earth A) Simultaneously, and B) in Korea. This had me perplexed. But lo and behold! Peter had another video for that, the 4th or 5th he showed me (it should be noted that, while the video was perfectly capable of getting the point across, Peter felt the need to torture and kill the pronunciation of every seventh word that was put on the screen out loud in a narration for the ages to cringe at).

Apparently, when Jesus left earth, his followers asked him when he would return. He responded something along the lines of “when the East meets the West.” So, once again with infallible logic, it has been deduced that since Jesus was in the West last time, he must come in the East this time. And how much farther East can you get than Korea? I didn’t think so.

I was very gracious to my enlighteners, and after many, many videos and a severe case of really-uncomfortably-close-sitting-on-a-bench-itis, I told them I needed to get to my train and head out. I asked them for a picture of them (I had to have it), they gave me their card, and I was on my way. For more information about the Church of God, my new Cult, go to http://english.watv.org or www.uccspace.net or search on YouTube “I have already come.” You won’t regret it.

After this encounter, I was running a tad late. So I hoofed it to the train station, picked up my bags at Left Luggage, bought my ticket and caught the 17:46 train to Vienna Südbahnhof Ost, for 11€.

The train was about an hour long. I slept the whole way, though, so I wouldn’t really know.

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